Your Goose Is Cooked, But The Turkey Is Traumatizing

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/26/your-goose-is-cooked-but-the-turkey-is-traumatizing

Ever wonder why bakers keep making cakes that look like cooked turkeys?

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Or rather, cakes that are supposed to look like cooked turkeys?

 They just, I dunno... make me a little uncomfortable.

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Look at those fleshy leg cannons. It's not right.

Here's one for people who say turkey is too dry:

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EXTRA MOIST

And let's talk about how funny they look from the front!

Or is this the back?

::head tilt::

You know what, let's not think about that too long.

The important take-away here is it looks like a bald guy who's been hit in the face with a pecan pie. A naked bald guy. Wearing wrist ruffles. Who has no legs.

And once you see this as a 10 gallon cowboy hat, there's no going back:

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Howdy, poultry.

Even when bakers get it right, and the cake looks like an honest-to-goodness turkey, I have some issues:

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For one, I will never look at Pigs in a Blanket the same.

 (Whyyy are they there??)

Listen, bakers, I think I speak for all humanity when I say NO ONE wants to see two cooked turkeys on their tables this Thanksgiving. So please, just give the people what they want!

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MORE POO-WANGS!


Thanks to Amanda S., Linda M., Robin R., Jennifer G., Nathan A., Alexandra M., & Melanie C. for that fowl content.

 *****

OK, so it's no pig-in-a-blanket, but this plastic yodeling pickle is EXACTLY what your holiday season needs:

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Yodelling Pickle

The reviews are an entertainment all on their own, though several seem to suggest this looks like something OTHER than a pickle, so good luck solving that mystery. ;)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

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If You Think About It, A Footless Dragon Is Really Just A Snake

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/25/if-you-think-about-it-a-footless-dragon-is-really-just-a-snake

I don't know what it is, but I'm pretty sure it wants to hurt me:

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"Yes, yesssss; bring that knife... CLOSER."

 

Extra, Extra! Read all about it! Finally captured on film!
The elusive Pepperoni Pizza Butter-Pie!

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So cheesy, am I right?

 

In case you were wondering if those awful Frozen cake kits are still out there:

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YUP.

 

Believe it or not, this next photo was taken inside the bakery. See the shelf & cake behind it?

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So someone bought this cake, brought it home, put custom candy letters AND a candle on it, cut into it, realized it was chocolate and not yellow like the label says, and then returned the cake.

WHICH THE BAKERY THEN PUT BACK ON THE SHELF FOR SALE. (At full price.)

So, uh... used sperm balloon cake, anyone?

 

I've seen a bunch of these dragon cupcake cakes (patooie!) now:

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...and trust me, they NEVER look this nice in real life.

 

This one, however, wins the Brass Ring of "Look, Ma! NO HANDS!":

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'Cuz I think he made it with his feet.

 

Thanks to Megan W., Norma E., Caite L., John B., & Leanne W. for dragon that in.

*****

I don't know where this has been my whole life, but behold:

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A "Dragons Love Tacos" book and toy set! The plush dragon it comes with is holding a giant taco. Boom. I don't know about you, but that's all the sales pitch I need.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Sunday Sweets: 10 Cakes With Curtain Calls

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/24/sunday-sweets-10-cakes-with-curtain-calls

You know I love a good cake trend, and here's one that has it all: drama, style, and most importantly, a plethora of pun potential.

Here, let me set the stage:

(Elysia Root Cakes, Chicago)

Eh? EH?

Yep, if all the world's a stage, then the world is now that much sweeter... and edible. 

K, not sure that metaphor is working, but my point is these things are awesome. They combine our love of cake with our love of miniatures, because who wouldn't squeal over a tiny table of tea cakes set inside another cake?

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(Baker unknown. Anyone?)

EEEEEEEEEE

My favorite thing about this style (besides everything) is that you get a massive cake even if you don't need to feed a massive crowd. Thanks to the high stages embedded inside, these cakes have legs for days.

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 (Madl Creations, Belgium)

Only fitting for the Moulin Rouge!

And of course every stage needs proper lighting:

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(Le Novelle Cake, Indonesia)

OooOOOoooh.

I don't see many steampunk cakes anymore, but I still love the style. The gathered skirts! The tiny top hat!

Not all of these are stages per se; some have tiny rooms instead.

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(Dmytrii Puga, Ukraine)

This is setting off my long-buried desires for a dollhouse, y'all. Look at the wallpaper! And that teeny door!

Here's a more shallow stage, so it doesn't have to replace all the cake in the middle tier:

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(Sugar Street Studios, United Kingdom)

Those flowers growing up from the base are so pretty!

And another musical number:

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(Mladman Cakes, Bulgaria)

A lot of these have tiny chandeliers inside, but I like the spray of pearls instead.

I'm not sure if this counts as a stage cake since it goes all the way through, but... how cool is this?

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(Baker unknown. Help!)

It's like a secret chamber in there! And what a fun idea to put the wedding topper INSIDE the cake. Love it.

For this one a hand-painted castle takes center stage:

(CakeHeads, Online)

Aww, look at the tiny thrown roses!

 And finally, let's close the curtains with a tale as old as time:

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(Bonboni Cake, Egypt)

What a beauty.

Hope these gave you a smile, and your Sunday is extra Sweet!

*****

Oooh, have you see those miniature DIY kits that come with working lights and tons of tiny accessories? Because omigosh, you guys, there's a little bakery:

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Look at all the teeny cakes!

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 DIY Miniature House Kit

This kit comes with everything you need to make the whole room for less than $20. Oooooh. That's dangerous, is what that is.  :D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

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