Sunday Sweets Sinks Its Incisors Into Some Skulls

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2020/10/25/sunday-sweets-sinks-its-incisors-into-some-skulls

I'm back with more Halloween goodies, spoops and ghouls! 

I didn't have anything too specific in mind for this week's theme, so I ended up with a boo-tiful mix of everything from Gothic Glam:

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(Cake Effect Buffalo, New York)

... to bright pastel eye candy.

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(Wonderfully Whitty Cakes, California)

I couldn't decide which of Whitney's cakes I liked best, so you get two:

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(Wonderfully Whitty Cakes, California)


Ooooh. Those stripes are swoon-worthy.

Have you ever seen a little kid smile with a mouth full of Oreos?
This is kind of like that, only cuter:

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(Backfeevi, Germany)

Hee!

I know I usually err on the adorable side of Halloween, so here's something more dark and dramatic: 

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(AyşenButikPasta, Turkey)

This could almost be a wedding cake! And that dry-brushed gold detailing? Gorgeous.

Ahh, but now I bet you want to see an actual Halloween wedding cake.

So to quote the coffin lid as it slammed shut,

BAM:

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(MakeLuvBlog)

Isn't this stunning? The wrought iron gate trim, the autumn flowers, the chocolate casket toppers! I love the light gray icing, too; less dye AND you can see all the details better.


Veering right back into Cute with this magical lil guy:

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(That Baking Girl)

Batty Potter. Ermergersh. 

And of course we need more Pumpkin King and friends in here:

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(Lovlie Cakes & Brookies Cookies Co.)

Digging the vintage illustration style on this one: 

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(Saucy Bakes, Canada & Arizona)

The bright green and red makes it pop, and then that bottom piped border made me do a double-take; it looks just like real lace! Whaaaaat.


And finally, even more cheery pastels, since I can't get enough this season:

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(Cake Happy, Virginia)

Is this not the happiest skull cake you've ever seen?? I guess Mickey ears really do make everything better. :D

I hope these made you a little happier, too, friends. Happy Sunday, and may your Halloween this year be extra extra Sweet.
*****
P.S. Speaking of happy skulls, I don't know who needs to hear this, but there is such a thing as
rainbow skull spoons:

Screen+Shot+2020-10-17+at+11.18.28+PM.jpg

Stainless Steel Skull Spoons, set of 6

They also come in black or silver, for the more traditional/boring goths out there. :p

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Glass Cloche.jpg

6 Signs Halloween Is Coming

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2020/10/23/6-signs-halloween-is-coming

There's a chill in the air, minions, and not just from your in-law's latest text.
Nope, Fall is here, and with it, all the classic signs:

 

- Bad Apples:

SarahCan.ow.pumpkin2.jpg

Seedy characters, no matter how you slice it.

 

- Rabid Pumpkins

RickyTro.ow.pumpkin.jpg

ERMERGOURD, this is one pumpkin-spiced foam you'll want nothing to do with, trust me.

 

- Two girls in frilly skirts lying on the ground with their feet chopped off:

IshaJo-TW-halloweenteeth.jpg

Yes, oddly specific, but I don't decide the signs; I just report 'em.

 

- Poop floating UPstream:

MarisaSci-FB-pumpkins3F.jpg

Eerie, isn't it?

 

- Black cats being sucked into whirling pea-soup vortexes:

HeatherVyv.ow.halloweenfingerpainting.jpg

That's a can't-miss sign, right there.

 

But the #1 way you know Halloween is coming?

KristyTur-FB-spermghosts.jpg

Angry sperm.

 

Thanks to Sarah C., Ricky T., Isha J., Marisa S., Heather V., & Kristy T. for going with the flow.

*****

P.S. I don't usually buy seasonal t-shirts, but as the owner of a black cat, I can tell you this one's appropriate year-round:

WhatCat.jpg

Cat's Got Your Knife T-Shirt

Lots more colors at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Creepy Doll.jpg

Cakes That Are Almost, But Not Quite, Entirely Unlike Pizza

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2020/10/22/cakes-that-are-almost-but-not-quite-entirely-unlike-pizza

October is Pizza Month, minions, so this is a great time to go over a few reminders.

 Ahem hem hem.

Bakers, repeat after me.

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"Pizza crust is not shiny."


Bakers repeating en masse: "Pizza crust is not shiny."

"Pizza crust is not held aloft by piles of poop."

robyn.lw.pizza.jpg

"Pizza crust is not held aloft by piles of poop."

"If people can't tell my cakes are supposed to be pizzas, then I should stop making pizza cakes."

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"If people can't..."

Bakers' Spokesperson, interrupting: "But what if we printed the pizza on the cake?"

Heidi+Lac.ow.wanted+a+pizza+cake.jpg

::brief silence::

"No."

"What if we make the cake a slice of pizza?"

Carole+Don.ow.pizza+CCC.jpg

"NO."


"What if we made the cake brownies instead of cake?"

Screen+Shot+2020-10-18+at+6.09.14+PM.jpg

"HOW IS THAT BETTER"

"Ok, ok, fine. We won't make pizza cake."

"Excellent! Wait. Why am I suddenly nervous?"

"BOOYAH!!!!"

bartley+ing.ow.chinese+pizza+pastry+with+red+onion+nails.jpg

::sigh::

"I'm out."

Thanks to Anony M.,  Robyn, Heidi L., Carole D., Anony M., & Bartley I., for giving us a hand. Also are those pickles? Because I would totally eat pickles on pizza. Just me? 

*****
Here's an extra toasty way to celebrate Pizza Month:

PizzaBlanket.jpg

Double-Sided Pizza Throw Blanket

It's hard to put a price on a blanket that makes you believe you ARE a pizza, but apparently the going rate is about $27. :p

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Glass Cloche.jpg

Kelley With Only One Eye

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2020/10/21/kelley-with-only-one-eye

Somehow literal LOLs just never get old.

I mean, how can you NOT imagine this baker's thought process as s/he carefully inscribed, "Kelley with an eye"?

AlbusDim-TW-kellywitheye.jpg

THIS BAKER: "Poor dear, but at least she has ONE eye! ...though it's a little odd for her friends to point that out. Hm. I wonder if they know a Kelly with no eyes, my, wouldn't that be dreadful. Ah well, that's another order done!"

 

And do you think this baker called the customer, "Mr. Colors"?

GianaBen-FB-boycolors.jpg

 

But my favorite - my FAVORITE - has to be this one:

JamieMik-FB-big15.jpg

Tell me the baker didn't write "Big 15" that tiny on purpose. Even if it was on some deeply subconscious level, somehow, she knew, and she was totally trollin'.

:D

 

Thanks to Albus D., Giana B. & Jamie M. for not making a big deal out of her "big" 15.

*****

I was trying to think of something punny to link for today's ad, and then I realized:

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Gold-Plated "Evil Eye" Earrings

THE EYES HAVE IT
Plus these are pretty cute for less than $9!
*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Glass Cloche.jpg

This Missed Mark Will Bug The Heck Out Of You

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2020/10/20/this-missed-mark-will-bug-the-heck-out-of-you

Ever heard of Stanley Stinkbug? 

 Yeah, me neither. 

 Apparently he's a children's character who looks like this:

Screen+Shot+2020-10-15+at+8.12.54+PM.jpg

As far as anthropomorphic bugs go, I guess he's not TOO terrifying. I'd put him somewhere between Heimlich the caterpillar and Hopper the evil grasshopper: Not a bug you'd want to cuddle, exactly, but that probably wouldn't make you run screaming from the room, either. Plus the neckerchief is fun.

Anyhoo, of course - of course - bakers have been asked to make cake versions of Stanley, and of course some of those bakers have done so... poorly.

The good news is today's baker was only asked to do a flat illustration on a cupcake cake (patooie!), which is a running head start, right? No molding or sculpting, just a picture. Heck, they could even print one out!

So what do you think, did they make Stanley's eyes all wonky? Is his scarf the wrong color, is he missing some legs? Oh! I know! I bet... you just want me to just show you the cake, don't you.

 Fine.

 BEHOLD!

Emily+Sav.ow.stanley+stinkbug.jpg

Actual footage of my reaction:

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Also now this gif is blocking my view of the cake, so... BONUS.

Now, before I nope right out of here, I'd like to point out that the baker CLEARLY thought management wanted an actual stinkbug cake for the display case, but never thought to ask A) WHY DEAR LORD WHY, or B) why it was named Stanley. 

 I mean, c'mon, you get told to draw a random bug named Stanley, tell me you wouldn't add some glasses and a sweater vest. That's just common sense.

Also, is this the sort of bakery where random horrific requests are this common? Was the baker asked to make a "Tiffany Tapeworm" last week, so Mr. Stinkbug was par for the course?

::dares to scroll up briefly to see the cake again::

K, last question: Did the baker think putting the giant semi-realistic stinkbug on a bed of lettuce... was helping??

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Aaaaand I'M OUT.

Thank you(?), Emily S. I do not approve.
*****

P.S. After my crack about cuddle-worthy bugs, naturally I had to go see if I could find some. And I gotta say, the ant? ADORABLE:

Screen+Shot+2020-10-18+at+8.40.00+PM.jpg

Plush Bugs
I draw the line at the giant rhinoceros beetle, though. ::shudder::

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

The Beauty Of Hogwarts.jpg

Sarcasm "Awareness" Month

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2020/10/19/sarcasm-awareness-month

Over the years, I've noticed some of you don't "get" sarcasm. Which I totally understand! I mean, sarcasm is super hard. Really.

So. Let me help. Because I care. I really, really care.

Okay, let's say your company didn't meet a deadline, and they're going out of business.
You might buy your team a cake like this:

sara28saralrobertson629.ow.congratseveryonequotes.jpg

See? This says, "Way to drive the company into the ground with your total incompetence, you bunch of boobs I can't be bothered to list by name" without actually saying it!

Yay sarcasm!

 

Or maybe your sister is engaged, but they haven't set a date:

ErinC.ow.flowerbridalshower.jpg

This says, "Common law still counts, right?"

 

Maybe your husband hasn't changed a diaper in 6 weeks because he's off playing Call of Duty. Again.

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Passive aggression is soooo much better than attacking the Xbox with a weed wacker. Am I right?

 

Or maybe you just really, really don't like Kate.

lauraend.ow.huppybirhduy.jpg

"Huppy" Birhduy *Kate!

The black icing IS your gift, btw; you'll just get it delivered later, if you know what I mean. [eyebrow waggle]

Also "Good luck" figuring out what the asterisk is for.

 

Of course, when all else fails, there's still the direct approach:

DanielAnt-FB-GoodRiddance.jpg
LouisePay.ow.don27tvisit.jpg
ChrisMcN-FB-YourDeadToUs.jpg

They'll think you're kidding, but you'll know.

You'll know.

 

Thanks to Sara R., Erin C., Anony M., Laura E., Daniel A., Louise P., & Chris M. for these great cakes. No really. I mean it. You're all my heroes.

*****

P.S. I know a lot of you are working and/or schooling at home this year, so why not take full advantage while decorating your workspace?

Screen+Shot+2020-10-18+at+9.05.56+PM.jpg

Classic 4X4 Box Sign: "Sarcasm"
Bonus points if it's visible during Zoom meetings. :p

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Silicone Mold.jpg

Cats, Bats, & Cakes That Bite Back!

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2020/10/18/cats-bats-amp-cakes-that-bite-back

Good news, gang: we can officially go all-in on our Halloween celebrating, because it's less than two weeks away! Eeeee!

And for those of who've been all-in on Halloween since August: I see you, and I approve.

Nearly all the cakes I'm seeing this year are teeny things, for obvious reasons: not many big parties happening in 2020. I've come to appreciate one-tier cakes, though; they pack just as much spooky style, PLUS I could conceivably eat the entire thing myself in one sitting. Not that I would, of course. I'm just saying it's a possibility I'd be willing to explore if, say, someone were to bring home all three of these:

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(Whipped Bakeshop, Pennsylvania)

::waggles eyebrows in John's general direction::

Oooh, now here's a cake that deserves a hand:

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(Loren Bakes, California)

Sorry, sorry, that was a terrible pun for an incredible cake. The one orange butterfly! Swoon.

Is there really anything scarier than the year 2020?

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(The Sugar Alchemist, UK)

Ouch. TOO REAL. But at least in this case we can eat the messenger.

I had to watch a video of this next baker piping the design to believe it, because WOW:

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(Qookie The Cakery, Nevada)

That's all hand-piped! Ahh-MAZING.


And now an adorable bat:

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(Cakes By Kristi, Illinois)

D'awwwww.


Bakers often use melted marshmallows to make cobwebs, so now when I see spider-webbed cakes I just think how delicious they look:

Screen+Shot+2020-10-11+at+6.14.40+PM.jpg

(Vanilla Bean, Alberta)

Nomz. Also I'm a big fan of all the pastel Halloween goodies this year!


Now the age-old debate: Is Nightmare Before Christmas a Halloween movie, or a Christmas movie?

Screen+Shot+2020-10-11+at+6.40.04+PM.jpg

(Bake-A-Saurus, California)

The correct answer, of course, is "both." And this cake should be an art print, because SWOON.

If you liked those colors as much as I do, then hold on to your hats and watch your fingers:

Screen+Shot+2020-10-11+at+6.53.21+PM.jpg

(Charra Jarosz, Washington)

Sweet and snappy! This is a fun mix of traditional piping and creepy weirdness, A++, would recommend.

Or how about some classic black, white, and red?

Screen+Shot+2020-10-11+at+6.54.46+PM.jpg

(Ela's Tortenwelt, Germany)

OoooOooh. Those candied apples look like giant cherries! The daisies are an unexpected touch, too.

And finally, a Sweet you can really sink your teeth into:

Screen+Shot+2020-10-11+at+7.30.12+PM.jpg

(Cake No Mistake, Essex)

A little mouthy. sure, but in the high-stakes world of vampires, it's a grave situation if you don't count Dracula. Besides, I love the cape. :p

Happy Sunday, everyone! Here's hoping the rest of your week is sweet and spooky.

*****
P.S. Really the only way I could follow that last cake is with this:

Screen+Shot+2020-10-11+at+11.50.10+PM.jpg

"Gracula" Garlic Twist Crusher

Bahaha! This goes great with that witchy spoon rest I featured last week.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

A Scaredy cat goes to HHN.jpg

Un-Scrutable Mysteries (You Know, Like 'Unsolved Mysteries?')

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2020/10/16/un-scrutable-mysteries-you-know-like-unsolved-mysteries

The baker was confused on how to spell the name TJ, so Mary said, "It's just the letters T and J."

Mary+Est-FB-name+TJ-+a+T+and+a+J.jpg

sigh

Let's see if you can guess what THIS customer wanted:

Ellen+Kle.ow.happy+birthday+in+cursive.jpg

If ONLY there were some way bakers could know, you know?


And finally, Kylie and her boyfriend share a birthday, so her mom ordered them a cake. When asked about the decorations, Kylie's mom said, "They're boyfriend/girlfriend," figuring that would help.

Not only did this information NOT help, it backfired most spectacularly. I'm actually impressed, y'all. This is next level Cake Wrecks Telephone, and all I can say is, WHOOMP, "they're" it is:

Kylie+Fle.ow.they%27re+gorlfriend+and+boyfriend.jpg

"there big Girl friend!"


Soak that in, my friends. The botched homophone, the random capitalization, the irresistible mystery of what the baker THOUGHT they were writing... it's just so beautiful.

Although there are a few hearts thrown in, so at least they nailed the decorating part.

Hey, Mary E., Ellen K., & Kylie F., thank you for being there big Girl friend.
*****

P.S. I don't know if you're in the market for fancy glass mugs covered in sparkly butterflies, but if you ARE, check these out:

Screen+Shot+2020-10-11+at+10.03.57+PM.jpg

Blue Rose Glass Tea/Coffee Cup

SO PRETTY

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Sweet and Spooky.jpg

Talk About Your Trunk Space, Check THIS Action Out!

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2020/10/15/talk-about-your-trunk-space-check-this-action-out

Amanda ordered a Western cake to make any cowboy proud:

AmandaLeeChr.ow.askedfor28cowboy29.jpg

 

...but instead, got a boot to the head:

AmandaLeeChr.ow.received28cowboy29.jpg

YEE- awwww.

 

Alisa asked to have this spooky Hello Kitty drawn on her daughter's cake:

AlisaBos.ow.hellokittydayofthedeadrequest.jpg

 

...only to discover this Kitty's got flaws:

AlisaBos.ow.hellokittydayofthedeadresultBirthdayMiss.jpg

(And once you recover from the wang ears and teeny-tiny udder legs, can we talk about the writing on that propped-up clear plastic? Which is still misspelled?)

 

Tell me, have you ever seen such an adorable elephant cake?

eergwergertgreANON29.lw.elephantrequest.jpg

And have you ever looked at your dryer exhaust hose and thought, "oooh, that looks tasty"?

Because if so, then YOU ARE IN LUCK:

ertgertgertgertgertgANON29.lw.wedding.jpg

Shiny.

And... wrinkly.

 

Thanks to Amanda C., Alisa B., & Anony M. for proving the nose knows dryer hose.

*****

P.S. Instead of a unicorn chaser (remember when people used to say that?) how about an elephant chaser:

Screen+Shot+2020-10-12+at+12.32.52+AM.jpg

Elephant Ring Holder


Aww, love the shape on this little cutie. She'd be perfect next to a sink or on your nightstand.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Kids costumes.jpg

You Say Potato, I Say Potato, Your Baker Draws a Llama

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2020/10/14/you-say-potato-i-say-potato-your-baker-draws-a-llama

This was supposed to read, "You'll Never Walk Alone"

KathleenHar.OW.Walkhome.jpg

So now it's less a promise and more... a threat?

 

The team is named The Bees, so they asked for a bee near first base:

katrinacol.ow.literalorangebees.jpg

Which is worse: the fact that they wrote out the instructions, or that "bee" near first base?
'Cuz I'm leaning towards the bee.

 

Jessica tells me she "has a thing for beards," so she asked the baker to put beards on her cookie cake.

JessicaSha-FB-putbeardsonit.jpg

I'm kinda with the baker on this one.

 

It goes great with Lauren's "Beast of Luck:"

MarkTow.ow.beastofluck.jpg

 

But here's the best one: you know how it's a trend to write "You're dead to us" on goodbye cakes?

kristenpie.ow.you27redeadtous.jpg

I have no idea why it's a trend, but it is.

 

haleyotm.ow.you27redeadtousnowghosts.jpg

See?

 

LesleyWee.ow.deadtousmisspell.jpg

 

Anyhoo, here's the very best "You're Dead To Us" cake I've ever seen:

ChrisDav.ow.you27redeadtous.jpg

"You're Dad To Us."

That is one stubbornly optimistic baker, you guys, and I love it.

 

Thanks to Kathleen H., Katrina C., Jessica S., Mark T., Kristen P., Haley O., Lesley W., & Chris D., AKA "Dad."

*****
For your actual Dad *or* your favorite farter figure:

Screen+Shot+2020-10-12+at+12.15.53+AM.jpg

Wood Coaster Set for Dad

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Sweet and Spooky.jpg