Fortified With 100% Real Irony

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/14/fortified-with-100-real-irony

It may not be rain on your wedding day, but these cakes are still a little too ironic.

[grabbing microphone]

HIT IT!

 

It's like loving journalism

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... but not kerning!

It's a "good job"

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that needs some learning.

It's the winner's cake

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that SHOULD be burning!

And who would have thought? It figures!

It's calling someone "dumb"

When you can't spell the word

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It's trying to show you care

While giving a beautiful turd

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Heh.

And isn't it ironic, don't you think?

Thanks to Tracey, Julie, Dorothy S., Tony W., & Stacey, who really DO think.

 *****

Hang on, you know what ELSE has delicious irony? A fully armed and operational battle station with an exposed exhaust port.

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Death Star Waffle Iron

Thanks to this waffle iron, you can recreate the Death Star's catastrophic destruction every morning with butter and syrup. Nomz. Just remember: Use the forks.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Our 2019 Christmas Party.jpg

Thanks For Nothing, Pheven

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/13/thanks-for-nothing-pheven

October was Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so it was nice to see bakers doing their part:

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...to make pink ribbons look like ding-a-lings.

 

Mary ordered a cupcake cake (patooie!) in the shape of a number 6 for her daughter, but I guess the baker ran out of cupcakes, so...

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This birthday is brought to you by 3/4 of the number 0.

Thanks for nothing.

 

How Twitter has ruined us all:

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#Wrecktastic

 

And finally, Catherine told the baker her son's name was "Stephen with a PH."

She got this:

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Thanks to Amber G., Mary G., Meredith N., & Catherine J. for the phweet phurprise.

*****

Here's one for all you "Attoreys @ Law" out there:

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Legal Decision Maker

It's a desk spinner!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

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The Air(brush)ing Of Grievances

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/12/the-airbrushing-of-grievances

According to my calendar, minions, this is the week we're supposed to write our letters to Santa. Which makes sense if you think about it; Santa needs time to find or make our stuff (screen-accurate Stay Puft costumes don't just grow on trees), and then our postal system needs time to sort, manhandle, smash, and ultimately lose our letters 'til next Spring.

So yeah, the deadline's looming, and I'm pretty sure I know what most wreckerators will be asking Santa for. Feel free to sing along!

Ahem hem hem.

Santa baby, 

Slip an airbrush under the tree

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For me

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So I can give it a whirl

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight!

Santa baby, one that does some polka dots, too

No clue

How to use this thing, dear

 Santa baby, so hurry up and bring one tonight!

 

 Think of all the blank spots I missed

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(So boring!)

 

I hear the secret is in the wrist:

(YAAAS)
 

 Next year I could wreck them all

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 If you'll check off my Christmas list!

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Woo!

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing

This stings

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But no one gets my true art!

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry up and let me me wreck right

Thanks to Rose, Shannon K., Rhiannon M., Jocklyn W., Anna D., Kara R., Laura M., & Lori M. for knowing a real turkey when she sees one.

****

And for those of you who haven't already activated full Christmas mode, check out this sweet Autumn skirt!

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DressStore A-Line Skirt With Pockets

 It's covered in pumpkins and owls and flying mushrooms - and it has pockets. 'NUFF SAID.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Jewelry from Melted Crayons.jpg

For Our Veterans

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/11/for-our-veterans

It's Veterans Day!

The day we honor our veterans for their incredible service, sacrifice and commitment to our freedom.

These men and women deserve the best cakes money can buy.

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Uh, we don't get a lot of those.

We get:

 

The Oven Mitt of Allegiance

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Wrapping you in the protective embrace of freedom.

 

Roadkill of Liberty

I've named him Stares and Scrapes.

 

Patriotic Sperm

katrinaric.ow.patrioticsperm.jpg

They do more before 9:00 AM than most sperm do all day!

 

Something Us 4 went in on together.

I know, I know. It should say "We 4."

 

Specs McPointy Head:

lindalew.ow.patrioticcreature.jpg

Patriotism gets pointy.

 

But, just like this Patriotic Boomerang,

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...it always comes back to this:

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(By Cookie Bliss)

Thank you, Veterans!

 

And thanks to Lynn B., Kelly S., Marikae, Katrina R., Cynthia W., Heather O., Linda L., DRK, and Dana S., for recognizing our inalienable right to look at bad cakes for good people.

*****

I went looking for an actual oven mitt of allegiance, but found something even better:

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A Captain America cutting board!

Well, technically it's Captain America's shield, but you get the idea. And so pretty!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Our 2019 Christmas Party.jpg

10 Sweets For Sesame Street Day

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/10/10-sweets-for-sesame-street-day

Word on the street is it's Sesame Street Day! 

WOOT!

Talk about the perfect day to celebrate with cake: how could you NOT be happy looking at this?

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(Custom Cake Designs, permanently closed)

Even Oscar the Grouch is smiling!

And please note those aren't toys; they're all hand sculpted figures. WOW.

There are so many sweet Abby Cadabby cakes out there, but I especially love how this one looks like an old-fashioned doll skirt cake:

(Baker unknown. Anyone know?)

D'awwww.

And check out these bright colors:

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(Awesome Edible Art, Florida)

Orange and pink is still one of my favorite combos.

Cookie Monster is another one who gets TONS of fabulous cakes, but I have to shout-out this rare gem that uses REAL chocolate chip cookies:

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(Sweet Traditions, Oklahoma)

See, I am a HUGE chocolate chip cookie fan, so I'd be picking those babies off faster than you could cut the cake. Plus that Cookie Monster up top is the absolute cutest.

(Pro Tip from someone who samples every chocolate chip cookie I come across: believe it or not, McDonald's makes the best ones. Trust me. If you get them warm out of the oven they are HEAVEN.)

Check this out: the baker spelled out the birthday girl's name in Muppets!

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(Sweet Things, Toronto)

AMAZING! I like how Ernie's hair bridges the Y, haha.

One year at Dragon Con we came across a guy on the street carrying Oscar the Grouch in his trash can, and he even had a false arm so he could puppet Oscar with his real arm. Not gonna lie, it made my whole dang weekend.

In fact, it was almost as cute as this!

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(Cakes Decor member SilverSparkle)

Is anyone else squeeing over Slimey the worm? Because squeeeeeee.

You ever feel like The Count is criminally underrated with kids these days?  (Uh-oh, I just said "kids these days." I'M OFFICIALLY OLD.) John and I still go "AH. AH. AH!" after counting something out, so it made me happy to see The Count featured on this one:

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(Sophie's Sweet Shop, California) 

... even if he IS still second-billing to Elmo, lol.


Oh! Here's another Muppet hero of my generation:

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(Cakes by Caralin, Toronto)

SUPER GROVER!!

I'm such a sucker for cakes I want to hug.

More Muppet letters on two-year-old Henry's cake:

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(Karolyn's Kakes, Pennsylvania)

The chocolate chip O is the best, ha. And of course I'm loving the bright orange layer: the head outlines are so crisp and perfect!

And finally, a parting wave from the Big Bird himself:

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(Krazy Kool Cakes & Designs, Texas)

The feet! The feathers! That sweet sweet face!

::swoon::

Well, gang, I hope these Sesame Sweets made you smile. Who else is off to watch their favorite clips on Youtube now?

*****

P.S. Because everyone needs an appropriate desk companion to channel their grouchy side:

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Oscar the Grouch Funko Pop

He even has Slimey at the bottom! D'awwww.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Our 2019 Christmas Party.jpg

Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/8/cook-something-bold-amp-pungent-day

It's "Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day," minions, and as you might imagine, I have a few candidates.

For example, it was a bold move of this baker to include a Gingerbread Man's nuts:

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Heyooo.

And speaking of bold and pungent movements:

HEYOOOO.

(K, but for real, why is it so bug-eyed? Can poop be constipated? But then it's also SMILING. And covered in sprinkles. This... this is wrong on so many levels.)

I don't usually go after flavors, but then, I don't usually see Hot Cheetos on a chocolate cake.

That's right. HOT CHEETOS. CHOCOLATE CAKE.

Definitely falls under Bold & Pungent. Blegagagag.

And finally, I don't think any actual cooking was involved, but still...

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HOW DARE YOU


Thanks to Jeniffer J., Krystine M., Amber C., & Stephanie S. for finding a lunch meat that will always taste funny.

******

It's no Meat Clown, but I *did* find some Dino-Might:

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TriceraTaco Holder

Which I think we can all agree is way better.

Btw, I've started keeping a list of some of my favorite Amazon finds that I link here. Be sure to bookmark it for the next time you need a funny gift!

Anything you purchase through these daily links (or through Amazon.com/shop/Epbot) gives back a small portion to me and John - even if what you buy is NOT on my lists - so thanks for helping support us while you shop!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Failing To Meet Expectations

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/7/failing-to-meet-expectations

They asked for this:

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Got this:

("... and this was after he tried to fix the creeper face with frosting all over his finger tips - see the squares where it looks messed up?")

 

...then went to another bakery, which whipped this up in only 20 minutes:

See, folks? It CAN be done!

 

From "Wonderful"

 

...to "Wonder What They Were Drinking"

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They asked for this pink camouflage:

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And got something that SHOULD be shot:

Pretty sure I've seen popped balloons that looked more appetizing.

 

And finally, here's a surprisingly clever use of photo paper:

Even so, my first thought? "Uh-oh."

 

Because I knew - I knew! - this was coming:

o.0

 

Thanks to Deanna W., Julia C., Courtney G., & Kendra C. for the Elizabethan tragedy.

*****

And speaking of cows, I love CowCow dresses; they're comfy and casual and come in ridiculous prints that always make me smile:

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CowCow Women's Dino Dress

 I'm torn between this and the neon pixelated dinos for my next one.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

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I Cannot Stress This Enough: GOLDEN GIRLS 4EVAHHH

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/6/i-cannot-stress-this-enough-golden-girls-4evahhh

It's International Stress Awareness Day, minions, so let's all take a nice, long, deep breath in...

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.... annnnnd relax.

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Oops your face fell off.

YOU RELAXED TOO MUCH.

Now, you might think making cakes for a living is all free cake scraps and frolicking, but there's a downside to all that maniacal sugar buzzing.

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For one, your "creative genius" can be a little hard to follow.

 For two, drawing straight lines is a challenge:

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"I wasn't even moving!"

And for three, being questioned all day by bewildered customers is, like, SUPER stressful.

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"I told you, it's an aerial view of an Oompa Loompa! GAH. Could I *MAKE* it more obvious?"

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::conspiratorial wink::

 So today let's give our fellow woman - and bakers in particular - a break. We're all stressed, we're all a little frazzled, and we're all in desperate need of a good Golden Girls marathon, am I right?

Tell you what, you start the show, I'll bring the cake:

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Thank you to Becca F., Karen S., Marissa H., Celeste H., & Courtney S. for being a friend.

 Oh hey, and if you REALLY want to de-stress, we can add in the Golden Girls drinking game:

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Bahaha!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Cute Cats + Cake Wrecks = Internet Gold

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/5/cute-cats-cake-wrecks-internet-gold

And now...

Cats Reacting To Simple Misspellings

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KristiWil.lw.Loins.jpg hyryjtuyhrtujhntuyjkuyijfybgtfvrtghjhhyghrft.jpg

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IrynaSto.ow.tema.jpg loikjuyuikujkjyhyjuyujghynuhu.jpg

GinnyMar.ow.thankyou.jpg tyjuthkbjrtvyjtyhfthgyhkjtguyu.jpg

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And finally:

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BONUS BUNNY DOUBLE FACE PALM!!!

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Thanys to Sariah S., Kristi W., Erica S., Iryna S., Ginny M., Kelly R., & Kelsey K. for giving us some bunny to love.

*****

This is one of the cutest cat things I've ever bought:

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Cat Post-It Dispenser

The little feet! (Oh man, and I just saw there's a matching tape dispenser!?)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Not So "Common" Now!

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2019/11/4/not-so-common-now

Common sense. Such a dictator, am I right?

Well, some bakers aren't going to take it anymore! Some bakers are like, "DOWN WITH COMMON SENSE! WE REFUSE TO BE COMMON *OR* SENSICAL!"

Except they yell it in their bathrooms, because they don't know any better.

 

Then they go to work and make cakes like this:

Which go over like a lead balloon.

 

Common sense says the odds of a couple celebrating the exact same date of birth - and providing a wedding photo for the cake - is FAR less likely than their celebrating a wedding anniversary.

So naturally:

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU CRAZY KIDS.

 

Common sense also demands that you cut an edible image so all the words are visible.

WHATEVS COMMON SENSE YOU DON'T OWN US

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And finally, and ironically the most common:

Rebecca in Red Frosting is feeling so left out right now.

So I guess she knows how Common Sense feels.

 

Happy Common Sense Day to Madeline S., Lori, Robin K., & Mary Lou, who suspect it's rapidly becoming more of an exclusive club.

*****

I was browsing Amazon for silly things to link today, and stumbled across a book from my childhood. Please tell me I'm not the only who remembers a book series about the Stupids:

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The Stupids Step Out

Ahhh, the late 70s. It was a different time.

****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Our Ghostbusters Halloween.jpg